Fewer women are having babies. When they do, they are having fewer and later. In Britain, abortions have reached their highest level since 1967. The explanations feel familiar: It is the cost-of-living crisis, unaffordable housing, stagnant wages. Women aren’t having children because they simply cannot afford them.
But is this the real story? Another possibility is that women are not having more children because we are telling them that they aren’t up to the task.
In a recent article asking why so many British women were getting abortions, writer Kara Kennedy argued that “the most supported, least terrifying option” for a pregnant woman “is the one that ends a pregnancy.” But the women she interviewed didn’t simply go on about money or stability or even the availability of childcare. Instead, Kennedy found that their aversion to parenthood was far more existential—a feeling that children were too much of a challenge. After one woman told of her hyperawareness of the daunting nature of motherhood from parenting blogs and how-to books, Kennedy concluded: “Motherhood isn’t something that you grow into but something you must already be qualified for.”